Bard Quest

Full Story Map
1 – Begin Bard Quest

2 – Introduce yourself!


 * END

3 – Shine his shoes.


 * 4 – Keep shining.
 * END

5 – Sing a ballad about the king’s beautiful queen

(Features a cameo from the men from the cover of Black Inches.)


 * 9 – Realize that you probably aren’t qualified to slay a dragon
 * END
 * 10 – Lute solo!
 * END
 * 12 – Go to the blacksmith. To forge Bard Armor +5, of course.
 * 13 – Yeah, go to the smith first and get armor +5
 * 14 – +5 Pulchritude
 * END
 * 16 – +5 Extra Large Dragon Corpse Satchels
 * END
 * 18 – +5 issues of your finest gay porn magazines
 * END (Cameo featuring Hunk Rump magazine.)
 * 19 – Go into the meat shop to buy 5 bratwurst
 * END
 * 21 – Go to the Codsmith and buy an impressively large codpiece.
 * 24 – Offer to exchange your hat for the codpiece.
 * END
 * 25 – Grab the cod piece and run
 * 32 – Wait, what are your new servants wearing, exactly?
 * 33 – Better get them pieces. Let's hit up Cod Palace
 * END
 * 35 – Use a little more discretion for god's (cod's) sake
 * END
 * 39 – Who cares about that, just go kill some dragons
 * 40 – Take Flothers and Daunchy to dragon concentration camp
 * END
 * 41 – Search for dragons in your immediate vicinity.
 * END
 * 42 – Find a dragon in the caverns of Harold.
 * END
 * 45 – Find a dragon in the swamp of mystery.
 * END. PS 1359 (Problem Sleuth shows this scene to take place inside Ace Dick and Death's game of Life).
 * 47 – Do a dance
 * END